


Maybe I was Never Meant to Have Anyone to be Close to

by Anniss



Series: Race the Wind [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternative Universe - Vikings, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Denmark does not, Feels, Gen, Norway has wings, alternative universe - wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 18:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4635480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anniss/pseuds/Anniss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He raised his head high, refusing to give them the satisfaction of seeing even the single crack in his emotionless mask. He had done this by his own free will. He was not here because they had caught him, but because he had chosen to be. That was at least what he told himself. That was what was keeping him up, as he was lead into deeper and deeper water. The people around him were cheering, yet he felt completely disconnected from them, unable to join in. Not that he wished to join them, because they were celebrating that they had captured him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe I was Never Meant to Have Anyone to be Close to

**Author's Note:**

> I highly reccomend you read the prequel to this one to understand what's going on! Thank you! ^v^
> 
> Lukas - Norway  
> Mathias - Denmark  
> Emil - Iceland

He raised his head high, refusing to give them the satisfaction of seeing even the single crack in his emotionless mask. He had done this by his own free will. He was not here because they had caught him, but because he had chosen to be. That was at least what he told himself. That was what was keeping him up, as he was lead into deeper and deeper water. The people around him were cheering, yet he felt completely disconnected from them, unable to join in. Not that he wished to join them, because they were celebrating that they had captured him.

 

His vision was almost failing him as they lead him over the trampled ground of the camp, but even then, he kept going. That was what he was good at doing. Forcing himself to keep going, thinking that he was doing it for Emil. It was true. He was doing this for Emil, he was sacrificing himself so his brother would be safe. His gaze slowly dropped however, and he felt ashamed of showing such weakness, but it couldn’t be helped.

Even if he was looking at his feet, he had no idea how far they had walked. Maybe a kilometre, maybe four metres, it didn’t matter. His feet were still heavy, and he would still end up exactly where they wanted him. They had tied his wings close to his body so he couldn’t open them and fly away, but not that he would come far anyways, seeing as they had several archers, ready to let their arrows fly right at him and kill him. He slowly lifted his eyes from his feet, and up to what was ahead of him. Straight ahead was the enemy sitting on his horse, his posture signifying endless pride and raw joy at capturing someone’s sibling, and then use them as a means of getting hold of him by threatening to kill said sibling. Lukas would hit him, more than once, but his hands were unfortunately tied. It didn’t matter that he was surrounded by bloodthirsty brutes, it would be a satisfying death to use his last moments to watch the beast in front of him bleed.

 

*

 

“Where are you taking him?” One of his men asked. Mathias laughed, and looked at the wooden carriage. It was eerily silent, even if a living being was sitting inside. His laugh suddenly felt very empty, and he looked at the man. He was lower than him, but looked like a very experienced and respectable person. “We’ll take him to the boss. I don’t know what he’ll do with him, but since he wants him alive and as unharmed as possible, I suspect he will sell him. Maybe as a thrall”, he said, shrugging mid-sentence. However, he almost cringed at the last word. He knew what being a thrall meant, and it wasn’t very pleasant.

 

The man lifted and eyebrow and tilted his head, but didn’t say anything. Yet, Mathias knew that he knew. “Okay then. Are you sure about watching over him, though? He probably wants to murder you the most.”

“Don’t worry about me. Many have tried, and all of them failed. This one even has the disadvantage of being tied up, so his chances are very small!” Mathias laughed, acting boastful and smiling wide not to show any weakness. The man shrugged. “Well, okay then”, he said, and walked off. Mathias watched him until he turned around a corner, and then turned his attention back to the carriage. His heart skipped a beat when he saw one eye staring at him through one of the little windows on the door. Why was he watching him all of a sudden? The woman sitting guard by the door didn’t even notice it, too busy inspecting her dagger for any imperfections. She was the one that had been very keen on killing the angel’s brother earlier. Mathias bit his tongue as he realized that he had never caught his name.

 

“What, is my shift over yet?” the woman said, not looking nearly as interested or energetic as earlier. The adrenaline rush had probably passed for her, and she was most likely still grieving her fallen brother. Mathias couldn’t blame her. He had seen many great people that he had considered friends die, and it hurt every time. “Yeah, and you seem like you could use some rest, maybe even some mead”, Mathias joked, and smiled a little. She reciprocated the smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She slowly stood up, and moved a few steps so he could take a seat. She was about to leave, but Mathias caught her arm. “Oh, and Gunilla, don’t worry, your brother is probably enjoying himself in Valhalla right now”, Mathias said, and even thought it was somewhat light-hearted, there wasn’t even a trace of humour in his words. She didn’t turn to him, but he hoped the smile reached her eyes this time. “Thank you, Mathias”, she said low. Then she was gone.

 

Mathias dumped himself down on the stool. This was going to be a long night, he realized, and leaned his head on the hard wood of the carriage. He glanced over at the door, but he couldn’t actually look through the windows from where he was sitting, so he just assumed the captive was still there.

 

Time dragged on, and on, and on. Mathias sometimes wondered if he should check if the guy had died, but then he thought he heard someone sitting down, so he couldn’t be bothered to stand up.

“So, what’s your name?” Mathias asked out of the blue, as he was bored of trying to count the stars. When he thought he had counted them all in one area, more just seemed to pop up. Everything was completely silent, so Mathias suspected he wasn’t going to get an answer, but when he did he was shocked by how calm the voice was. He had expected it to burn with some sort of rage, let it be either ice cold or burning hot. “Lukas.”

“Oh cool! I’m Mathias!”

“Pleased to meet you”, Lukas answered, and even Mathias could hear the dripping sarcasm. He smiled for some reason, and looked over at the door again. “Sorry for the shitty situation”, Mathias said, somehow more cheerful than he was.

“Oh, but are you really?” Lukas answered, and the temperature in his voice dropped severely.

“Yeah, I wished we could have given you a chair or something, but that could be dangerous when we start moving”, Mathias said, before he realized what Lukas had thought about when he said sorry. “Oh yeah, and I’m sorry about capturing you. I- Uh. Well, you probably won’t believe me, but I didn’t want this. I had to. My boss, he…” his voice died down at the end. It was unfamiliar, just to let his voice die down while rambling, instead of being cut off in the middle. Another long moment of silence passed before Lukas answered.

“I don’t care. Emil is safe. That is all that really matters”, he answered, the cold hate from earlier gone, leaving exhaustion in it’s wake. Mathias guessed that Emil was the little brother. He guessed it would be nice to have someone you could devote yourself to completely.

 

*

 

Lukas understood. He understood too well that Mathias couldn’t go against his boss. That was the reason that Emil had to spend some of his childhood raising himself. Alone. It was absolute bullshit, but that was just how their lives was. “Mathias… This might seem odd, but… How old are you?” Lukas asked. He had to know. Was Mathias like him?

 

“Heh, your brother asked me a similar question. I am way older than I should be, and I guess it’s the same with you. Your legend has been around for a very long while, and you never seemed to die. So you are very old as well, I suppose?”

Lukas nodded, but then realized that Mathias probably couldn’t see him. “Yes”, he kept his answer short. It was weird. Somehow, he didn’t feel like this man’s enemy anymore. They were on the same side, at least when it came to their life situation. Lukas looked at the stars. The million glowing orbs that were so far away. He would never be able to touch them, but maybe they weren’t meant to be touched, just appreciated for what they were.

 

A huff of laughter snapped Lukas out of his train of thought, and he subconsciously leaned closer to the door. All he could see was Mathias’ legs. “What?”

“I just thought about how stupid this all is. I am just some ragdoll that have gotten passed from person to person since I was born, and never been able to form a closer bond with anyone. Everyone I considered close died, so I just stopped getting attached. Then I meet you and Emil. Two persons who seems to be in the same situation as me, unable to die and everything, but this is what I do? Use your brother as a means of getting to you, and then shipping you off to my boss so he can sell you off like some sort of… Cattle. Maybe I was never meant to have anyone to be close to”, the man blurts out, seemingly unable to realize how personal he is getting with someone who is supposed to be his enemy, or at least not someone worthy of all this. Lukas is unable to answer immediately, reflecting over Mathias’ words. Lukas can’t even imagine how it would be without Emil. Well, he did live for a while without him, but he was a carefree child at the time. For Mathias to have lived his entire life without anyone to feel really close to… It must have been torture.

“You dork, if you have lived this long, you will live long enough to find even more people like us”, Lukas said, and he pressed his face to the door so he could see Mathias. He reached out through the window, as it was just large enough for him to stick his arm through, and squeezed his shoulder. Mathias jumped, completely unprepared, and Lukas sighed internally. How was this the warrior he had faced earlier? This large, emotional dork.

“Hey! Don’t scare me like that!” he exclaimed, and Lukas shook his head, and retreated into the carriage. He laid down, not wanting to speak anymore today. Luckily Mathias didn’t seem like he wanted to speak anymore either.

 

*

 

The carriage was dragged along on the bumpy road. Inside laid a man whose eyes was even more blank and seemingly lifeless than usual, looking out a small window which only showed a limited part of the world outside. He felt completely drained for energy, something which were brought along by a lack of a goal or anything to do. He was being dragged along, unable to make decisions of his own. He felt a strong urge to call for his familiar, the troll, but he was also afraid of anything happening to him and he was unsure of how much help he could give. He could burn the carriage, blow the door of its hinges, even summon a storm, but he wouldn’t get anywhere. He had his captors surrounding him, many more than he would consider necessary, so he wondered who had wanted him as a captive this badly.

 

He focused his vision again, and tried to look out the small window. The world outside was still green and light, and on the grass right beside the road they were on he could see a horse and its rider. He didn’t recognize the human, but he assumed it was a man. His sight on the man was suddenly interuppted by something large that broke the light rays falling on him with its movement. It was another horse, this time much closer, and Lukas’ glance swept upwards and to the rider. Of course. Up there was the idiot with the outrageous hairstyle, looking down at him. Lukas gave him his best glare, and he thought the bastard raised his eyebrows in surprise, but it was hard to tell with the sun coming from behind him. They continued to stare at each other, and Lukas noticed how unfittingly bright and blue his eyes were. As he looked away, unwilling to continue the odd staring contest, he heard the man above him shout: “Yup! He’s still alive!”

 

Then he was gone. He had taken his horse and moved back to the front. The green, light background returned, and the rider was still there. He seemed to be looking in his direction, but Lukas turned away. Awkwardly shuffling, careful about the rests of his missing eye and his dirty, unkempt wings.

 

*

 

Mathias looked over his company. They had arrived at the seaside. The weather was gorgeous, and the sea seemed calm, yet he felt somewhat disturbed, and couldn’t let his shoulders down. Once again he had stolen another human being from their home, misplacing them and selling them as a thrall. Even if he didn’t do the selling part himself, he still felt bad. They were working on uncovering the boat they had arrived in, dragging it back into the water. As the leader, he was overseeing the process, also keeping an eye on the treeline, just in case anyone wanted to ambush them. Luckily, everything was calm that day.

 

That was until the carriage was unloaded. At first Lukas just did as he was told, but Mathias saw a new spark of fight in him. He had raised his head, and looked straight forwards. Mathias felt a slight tinge of worry, and got his horse to start moving towards the angel and the ones keeping him company. Lukas was looking around, but stopped at the sight of the boat, before he looked out over the ocean. Mathias noticed how he froze in place, uncaring about how they were trying to get him to continue moving.

 

Then there was the sick sound of something breaking, and a roar from someone who had just gotten their nose broken. Mathias immediately speeded up, he didn’t want anyone to get even more hurt. Even with his hands bound, Lukas still fought viciously, and swept someone’s feet away from under them. Mathias swore he also saw fire, but none of them had been carrying any fire. Before Mathias managed to reach them, someone managed to hit Lukas on the side of the head, and he lost his balance. He got pushed over, and fell to the ground, where someone felt it was necessary to hit him again, before they grabbed him, and lifted him back to his feet. Mathias stopped his horse, now that they had gotten him under control again. Lukas threw his head back, teeth clenched, and stared directly at Mathias. “Let me go! Don’t put me on that boat!” his voice wavered, and he had thrown all his icy control away. He was straining against the rope around his wrists, and his legs we’re shaking in exhaustion. He had planted them in the ground, not wanting to be moved anywhere. Mathias said nothing. “Don’t take me away from Emil! Don’t take me away from my little brother!” he was screaming, his voice hoarse. “I hate you!” even if his voice was filled to the brim with emotion, the volume was getting lower and lower. “I can’t leave him, he’s my brother!” his head had dropped, his voice was cracking. “I don’t want him to be alone. Don’t take me away from my brother, _please…_ ”

A drop fell to the ground.

 

Lukas was dragged on board. Mathias did nothing but watch. He was weak, afraid, unable not to follow the commands he had been given. A horrible pain had settled in the middle of his chest, and he grabbed hold of the belt strapped across his chest, tugging it slightly. They were about to set sails, leaving this land behind. The fee for the horses had been pain, their owners leading them back to where they came from. Mathias looked back one more time. The mountains with the trees made for such a beautiful scenery, so different from what he was used to.

 

Someone called for him, and he turned towards the voice. The ship was ready. Ready to escort someone who definitively wasn’t ready to leave their home. Someone who just had their entire life ripped up by the root. Someone who was leaving who and what they knew by force. Of course Lukas wasn’t ready.

 

Mathias wasn’t sure if he was ready himself, but could anyone ever be fully ready?

**Author's Note:**

> I am not sure when/if I'll make a sequel, but I'll probably do it some time! I still have a lot I want to write about this universe!  
> And again, thanks for reading!


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